Kym Vitar says it’s okay to be selfish

In my recent interview with lifestyle photographer Kym Vitar, she addressed the issue of taking time for herself.  This is what she had to say:

Moms always feel like they are being selfish even if they lock the door to go to the bathroom! And that is not ok!! We need to nurture ourselves and our souls before we can truly be happy creatives! One thing I do is take at least one workshop a year. I haven’t done any out of state or over night ones yet, as I live near LA, there are quite a few that are always available in this area, but it is my time to put myself first and a way of honing my skills and always learning/ connecting with other creatives.”

She also goes on to say, “Also, it’s OK to be selfish and want to do something on your own. Let Daddy have a date day with the kids, and you can take that time to read or sew or paint or build or learn calligraphy. It’s just as important for YOU to take classes and learn new skills as it is your kids! We spend so much time pushing our kids into sports and school that it’s a neat and important for our kids to see us learn how to something new too! My philosophy is life is you are never too old to learn! And it makes such an impact on your kids to see you making yourself creatively happy!”

I could not agree with her more.  I whole-hearted believe that moms need to tend to themselves so that they can be the best for their families.  That’s way easier said than done.  It’s so easy to shove our wants, needs and desires to the back burner because someone (everyone) else wants/needs/desires something.  That’s just how it is for moms, but it shouldn’t be that way all the time.  Sure, part of that is just part of being a mom and a grown up.  Everyone has to put aside wants and wishes for the real world, but I encourage you to intentionally take some time just for yourself, hopefully, everyday.  In years past, I would go to pick my oldest up from school about 30 minutes early to just have that little bit of quiet time to read a book or magazine.  I looked forward to that time everyday, and that’s all I needed–just a little break in the middle of the day.

I believe that if you give and give and give and don’t purposefully take some time for yourself you will become resentful toward your family.  That’s obviously not what you want.  I mean this in the nicest way possible… that’s your fault.  Everyone gets 24 hours in the day.  Take control of it and carve out some time for yourself.  I also think that moms who don’t take the time that they need can become short-tempered with their children and/or husband.  Also, not good.  Take some time.  Just a few minutes everyday.

That reminds me of this post from Esther Anderson on “Story of this Life” Facebook page yesterday:

I’m currently upstairs folding a massive pile of laundry and I can hear Ellia downstairs with her daddy talking his ear off, “daddy, hey daddy, daddy look…”

I can honestly say that I’d rather be up here folding this laundry right now than down there 😁 Is that bad? Cause it’s the truth.

I think we’ve all been there.  🙂


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